That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We have started to decorate penises.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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