I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
