turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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