I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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