drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
