This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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