Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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