If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
