At least make sure they are 18
Why
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
