dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
