She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
