can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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