Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
