People in love make me want to vomit
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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