Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
