he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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