i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
