Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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