i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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