Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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