i need an iv and a liver transplant
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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