Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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