Your face is a jimmy john
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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