i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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