with your own penis?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
