Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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