Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
