does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
