That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.