Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
