two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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