You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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