She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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