Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize