I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
