I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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