I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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