I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
