Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
