just tell him i said nine months
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
