Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son