no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.