I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.