so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends