Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize