I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
a search helicopter?!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.