how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
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this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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