me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
