No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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