u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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