Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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