I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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