I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
