in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
