Someone shit on the floor
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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