Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
