One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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