its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
