And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
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This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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