So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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