If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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