That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I won the penis lottery.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
