Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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