My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize