I want to stick my p in your. b.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
