Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize