Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Randomize
