Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
