i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
