Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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